Post by rsafan on Feb 19, 2007 0:45:23 GMT -5
“Max? Are you here?” Mimi called as she stepped into the garage.
Abby stepped out of the office, “He’s gone to get lunch,” she informed Mimi, “he should be back soon though if you want to wait for him.”
Mimi shook her head, “No, that’s fine I’ll see him another time.”
Just then Max walked in with Shawn, “Ah here they are now.”
“Shawn.” She nodded at him in greeting, “Max, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, what can I do for you?” Max asked after Shawn and Abby had steeped into the office.
“It’s about the apartment; Victoria said I should just drop by here if…”
“Your mother driving you crazy is she?” he asked her jokingly.
“You have no idea. So if the offer still stands...”
“I’m sure it does, Tory didn’t inform me of anything to the contrary. How about you meet me there tonight, I’ll give you the official tour and the keys.”
“I already know the place.” she pointed out.
“I know,” he said with a grimace, “but it’d give me something to do.”
“That desperate huh? So tonight, around seven?”
He nodded and she left.
“Thanks Max, I appreciate the tour and the help with the boxes and setting up Zach’s crib.”
“No problem, like I said, it gave me something to do.”
“You still missing her?”
“It gets better after a while, I never thought it would. And it helps being able to talk to her on the phone sometimes.”
“But it’s not like having the real thing though is it? Just remember, if you ever need to talk I’m here.”
“Shouldn’t I be the one telling you that? I mean you did just walk out on your marriage.”
“Yeah, like two months ago. I’m fine though, never thought I would be. Shawn was supposed to be IT for me, he probably was it and the funny thing is that all the time we were together and I was keeping that secret, my one concern was that he would leave me and I would have nothing. But now, he’s gone and I’m still whole, I’m still me.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” he said then glanced at his watch, “It’s late and I better get going. If you need help with anything just pick up the phone.”
She smiled at him and walked him to the door, “Will do and thank you once again.”
“It was nothing.” He said before leaving.
She closed the door behind him and leaned against it, taking a deep breath. So this was it, what it was like to be totally on your own. She made her way to the spare bedroom, where they’d set up Zach’s things; she should go and collect him now that everything was settled, of a sort. She trailed her hand over his crib and wondered for a moment whether he was affected by all this. He’d be moving once again, the surrounding might not be new but it was still different, maybe she should’ve waited before doing this again but she’d had to get away from her mother. She sighed and went to collect her purse and keys, she’d pick Zach up from her mother’s, get some take-out and they’d settle down to spending their first night in this apartment. She was just about to leave when the phone rung, debating whether or not to answer it, she decided she might as well answer.
“So, how do you like it?”
“Tory, I’ve only just moved in.”
“But you like it right? You’re going to stay?”
“Most likely, I was just on my way to fetch Zach and see how he likes it.”
“So, the reason I’m really calling is to let you know that Zach’s presents should be arriving soon. He has to open them on his birthday though and I want lots of pictures and video.”
“Victoria, his birthday’s two weeks away.” Mimi reminded her in case she’d forgotten.
“I know, but as his god-mother and his Aunt, I’m entitled to spoil. I thought I’d get a head start on the pressies plus I wanted to be the first one to call you at your new place.” “So how did Shawn take all this moving on without him?”
“We haven’t really spoken all that much lately.”
“So I guess you guys are getting a divorce then?”
“I’m in no rush. I’m trying to settle into a new routine and running around trying to get Shawn out of my life isn’t very big on my list of ‘things to do’ at the moment. I know that doesn’t make sense.”
“It does actually. It’s like if he wants out, he’ll have to make the move because you couldn’t be bothered right now, you need to focus on staying sane and going through a divorce right now isn’t exactly the easiest way to go about that. Unless of course you meet someone else, then it might be a good idea to get the divorce first. So do you think you’re ready to enter the dating pool again, if this thing with my brother is over?”
Mimi hated that her tone implied it wasn’t, that she would eventually go back to Shawn, she knew she wouldn’t. And besides, Shawn was probably enjoying his freedom right now, “It is over.” she insisted, “I wouldn’t have moved out if it weren’t.”
“If you say so, I believe you, but could you do something for me?”
“What?”
“Spread your hands out in front of you.”
“What?”
“Just do it.”
Mimi placed the phone in the crook of her neck and did as she’d been told, “Okay, what’s the point of this?”
“What do you see?”
“My hands, ten fingers and nails that are in bad need of a manicure.”
“Examine your fingers, anything distinctive about them?”
“Nope, they look normal to me.”
“Okay, now look at you left hand, are all the fingers bare.”
“I already told you I need a mani, so yes they’re bare.”
“Really, no rings, no writings or tattoos?” Mimi didn’t answer, “Mimi, are you still there?”
“Yep, I’m here just…”
“The rings are still there right.”
“How did you know?”
“You may have walked out of your marriage physically, but emotionally, you’re still in with both feet. You’re still committed to your marriage Mimi.”
Mimi shook her had even though Tory couldn’t see her, “No, I’ll give them back to him. I’ll take them off now.”
“It doesn’t matter what you did now, it would be a conscious decision. You’d be doing it for all the wrong reasons.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you’d really checked out Mimi, you’d have handed those rings back to him the day you moved out, or somewhere along the way. But you didn’t, you’re hanging on to them.”
“Which means what exactly?”
“It means exactly what you think it means.”
“No. My marriage is over, I have to accept it and so does Shawn. I’m not all that into dating anyone right now, my experience with relationships aren’t exactly the best, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to want to one day.”
“You’re right.”
“You wouldn’t happen to be seeing anyone would you?”
“Not unless he’s the shrink I have to see every week. Apparently I’m in an emotional state right now and counselling will help. Ya think?”
“Well you are and they’re only concerned for your well being.”
“I know and I try and tell myself that on a regular basis but they keep telling me how I should feel or what I should think. Sometimes I think it’d be easier to handle if I’d been there. You know, aware of the fact that I was losing the baby, at least then I’d have the memory instead of just waking up and being told. There’s this huge void that I need to fill and if I had cramps or a miscarriage, at least then I’d be able to fill in the gaps but right now I feel like I’m drowning.”
“Maybe you should call Max, have a chat with him and see how he feels. It could help since he experienced the same loss.”
“It’s not the same.”
“I know but it’s worth a shot isn’t it?”
“Maybe you’re right. I just feel so bad with the way I just up and left but I felt as though I needed to do it. To get away from everything.”
“I certainly know how that feels and thank you again by the way, for allowing me the use of this place. I was dying over at my mother’s.”
“No problem. Look, I have to go; it’s like three in the morning here.”
“Oh, okay then. Bye.”
Once she’d hung up, she glanced again at her hand. Was Victoria right? Was she still carrying some hope that everything was going to work out, was that why she wasn’t as emotional about the destruction of her marriage? She’d been the one to pack her bags; she’d been the one to leave, yet she was the one still holding on. Shawn certainly wasn’t, he hadn’t even come after her. She’d been so used to him making everything better but he wasn’t going to this time, no this time she had to rely on herself, she’d have to rely on herself, she would have to be strong for Zach.
Abby stepped out of the office, “He’s gone to get lunch,” she informed Mimi, “he should be back soon though if you want to wait for him.”
Mimi shook her head, “No, that’s fine I’ll see him another time.”
Just then Max walked in with Shawn, “Ah here they are now.”
“Shawn.” She nodded at him in greeting, “Max, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, what can I do for you?” Max asked after Shawn and Abby had steeped into the office.
“It’s about the apartment; Victoria said I should just drop by here if…”
“Your mother driving you crazy is she?” he asked her jokingly.
“You have no idea. So if the offer still stands...”
“I’m sure it does, Tory didn’t inform me of anything to the contrary. How about you meet me there tonight, I’ll give you the official tour and the keys.”
“I already know the place.” she pointed out.
“I know,” he said with a grimace, “but it’d give me something to do.”
“That desperate huh? So tonight, around seven?”
He nodded and she left.
*****
“Okay, so that’s it. Everything you need to know.” “Thanks Max, I appreciate the tour and the help with the boxes and setting up Zach’s crib.”
“No problem, like I said, it gave me something to do.”
“You still missing her?”
“It gets better after a while, I never thought it would. And it helps being able to talk to her on the phone sometimes.”
“But it’s not like having the real thing though is it? Just remember, if you ever need to talk I’m here.”
“Shouldn’t I be the one telling you that? I mean you did just walk out on your marriage.”
“Yeah, like two months ago. I’m fine though, never thought I would be. Shawn was supposed to be IT for me, he probably was it and the funny thing is that all the time we were together and I was keeping that secret, my one concern was that he would leave me and I would have nothing. But now, he’s gone and I’m still whole, I’m still me.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” he said then glanced at his watch, “It’s late and I better get going. If you need help with anything just pick up the phone.”
She smiled at him and walked him to the door, “Will do and thank you once again.”
“It was nothing.” He said before leaving.
She closed the door behind him and leaned against it, taking a deep breath. So this was it, what it was like to be totally on your own. She made her way to the spare bedroom, where they’d set up Zach’s things; she should go and collect him now that everything was settled, of a sort. She trailed her hand over his crib and wondered for a moment whether he was affected by all this. He’d be moving once again, the surrounding might not be new but it was still different, maybe she should’ve waited before doing this again but she’d had to get away from her mother. She sighed and went to collect her purse and keys, she’d pick Zach up from her mother’s, get some take-out and they’d settle down to spending their first night in this apartment. She was just about to leave when the phone rung, debating whether or not to answer it, she decided she might as well answer.
“So, how do you like it?”
“Tory, I’ve only just moved in.”
“But you like it right? You’re going to stay?”
“Most likely, I was just on my way to fetch Zach and see how he likes it.”
“So, the reason I’m really calling is to let you know that Zach’s presents should be arriving soon. He has to open them on his birthday though and I want lots of pictures and video.”
“Victoria, his birthday’s two weeks away.” Mimi reminded her in case she’d forgotten.
“I know, but as his god-mother and his Aunt, I’m entitled to spoil. I thought I’d get a head start on the pressies plus I wanted to be the first one to call you at your new place.” “So how did Shawn take all this moving on without him?”
“We haven’t really spoken all that much lately.”
“So I guess you guys are getting a divorce then?”
“I’m in no rush. I’m trying to settle into a new routine and running around trying to get Shawn out of my life isn’t very big on my list of ‘things to do’ at the moment. I know that doesn’t make sense.”
“It does actually. It’s like if he wants out, he’ll have to make the move because you couldn’t be bothered right now, you need to focus on staying sane and going through a divorce right now isn’t exactly the easiest way to go about that. Unless of course you meet someone else, then it might be a good idea to get the divorce first. So do you think you’re ready to enter the dating pool again, if this thing with my brother is over?”
Mimi hated that her tone implied it wasn’t, that she would eventually go back to Shawn, she knew she wouldn’t. And besides, Shawn was probably enjoying his freedom right now, “It is over.” she insisted, “I wouldn’t have moved out if it weren’t.”
“If you say so, I believe you, but could you do something for me?”
“What?”
“Spread your hands out in front of you.”
“What?”
“Just do it.”
Mimi placed the phone in the crook of her neck and did as she’d been told, “Okay, what’s the point of this?”
“What do you see?”
“My hands, ten fingers and nails that are in bad need of a manicure.”
“Examine your fingers, anything distinctive about them?”
“Nope, they look normal to me.”
“Okay, now look at you left hand, are all the fingers bare.”
“I already told you I need a mani, so yes they’re bare.”
“Really, no rings, no writings or tattoos?” Mimi didn’t answer, “Mimi, are you still there?”
“Yep, I’m here just…”
“The rings are still there right.”
“How did you know?”
“You may have walked out of your marriage physically, but emotionally, you’re still in with both feet. You’re still committed to your marriage Mimi.”
Mimi shook her had even though Tory couldn’t see her, “No, I’ll give them back to him. I’ll take them off now.”
“It doesn’t matter what you did now, it would be a conscious decision. You’d be doing it for all the wrong reasons.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you’d really checked out Mimi, you’d have handed those rings back to him the day you moved out, or somewhere along the way. But you didn’t, you’re hanging on to them.”
“Which means what exactly?”
“It means exactly what you think it means.”
“No. My marriage is over, I have to accept it and so does Shawn. I’m not all that into dating anyone right now, my experience with relationships aren’t exactly the best, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to want to one day.”
“You’re right.”
“You wouldn’t happen to be seeing anyone would you?”
“Not unless he’s the shrink I have to see every week. Apparently I’m in an emotional state right now and counselling will help. Ya think?”
“Well you are and they’re only concerned for your well being.”
“I know and I try and tell myself that on a regular basis but they keep telling me how I should feel or what I should think. Sometimes I think it’d be easier to handle if I’d been there. You know, aware of the fact that I was losing the baby, at least then I’d have the memory instead of just waking up and being told. There’s this huge void that I need to fill and if I had cramps or a miscarriage, at least then I’d be able to fill in the gaps but right now I feel like I’m drowning.”
“Maybe you should call Max, have a chat with him and see how he feels. It could help since he experienced the same loss.”
“It’s not the same.”
“I know but it’s worth a shot isn’t it?”
“Maybe you’re right. I just feel so bad with the way I just up and left but I felt as though I needed to do it. To get away from everything.”
“I certainly know how that feels and thank you again by the way, for allowing me the use of this place. I was dying over at my mother’s.”
“No problem. Look, I have to go; it’s like three in the morning here.”
“Oh, okay then. Bye.”
Once she’d hung up, she glanced again at her hand. Was Victoria right? Was she still carrying some hope that everything was going to work out, was that why she wasn’t as emotional about the destruction of her marriage? She’d been the one to pack her bags; she’d been the one to leave, yet she was the one still holding on. Shawn certainly wasn’t, he hadn’t even come after her. She’d been so used to him making everything better but he wasn’t going to this time, no this time she had to rely on herself, she’d have to rely on herself, she would have to be strong for Zach.
