Post by rsafan on Feb 13, 2007 7:27:26 GMT -5
Chapter 39
“Oh Claire, look at all the presents, aren’t they great? And they’re all for you.” Mimi held Claire as she marvelled over the mountain of gifts that were lying on the floor. “But unfortunately, we’re going to have to wait till the party to open them, bummer.” The little girl’s face actually fell in disappointment and Mimi couldn’t help but feel sorry for her, “I know sweetie. How about we go and see what’s going on in the kitchen and let the servants do the setting up in here?”
Claire nodded and hooked her arm around Mimi’s neck affectionately and together they ventured towards the kitchen and all the culinary delights that were being prepared there.
“I think we should separate those two before Mimi’s influence can sink in.” John commented as soon as they had left the living room.
“And what influence would that be dad?” Belle asked as she started picking up the presents Mimi and Claire had spread over the floor.
“The notion that we’re servants who are going to clean up after her whenever she messes and that she can mess whenever she feels like it, to name but a few of the things your friend has taught my grandbaby.”
“The two of them adore each other,” Belle pointed out, “they’d never allow a separation of any kind.” She smiled as she heard the giggles coming from the kitchen, she was glad Mimi hadn’t let her problems with Shawn and herself to affect her relationship with Claire. Claire positively adored her ‘aunt’ meems and as far as Belle could tell the feeling was mutual. “And neither would I.”
“Have you spoken to her yet, about what’s going on between her and Shawn?” Marlena asked as she came down the stairs, she’d just gone up to put Zach down.
Belle turned to her mother, “I didn’t want to intrude, if she wants to talk to me, she will. Though I doubt that’s going to happen when she practically told me to get back together with Shawn.”
“And are you going to?” Marlena queried. But before Belle could answer, there were shrieks coming from the kitchen and a moment later, Mimi and Claire came out, covered head to toe in flour, laughing.
“We can assure you,” Mimi commented, “that all the food is up to par.” She glanced down at Claire and the two of them started the giggling again.
“Oh Claire what have you gotten into? You were supposed to be clean for the party.” Belle murmured as she went to her daughter.
John, who was grinning quite broadly himself, commented to no one in particular, “I said this would happen.”
“What on earth happened in that kitchen and look at what a mess you are.” Belle tried wiping the flour off her daughter’s face but only managed to get it on the carpet instead.
Claire shrugged, “Just flour.” she stated matter-of-factly.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get her all cleaned up and looking right as rain for the party. Come on Claire.” Mimi said as Claire followed her upstairs.
“I’ll go and check if the kitchen is still in one piece.” John said and left Belle and Marlena alone together in the living room.
“Do you think she’ll be presentable in an hour?” Belle asked her mother, glancing at her watch.
“I think you should let Mimi see to Claire so that we can finish our conversation.” Marlena told her.
“I’ll just go and see…”
Marlena stopped her and patted the space next to her on the sofa, inviting her daughter to sit down. “Belle, you can’t run away from this you know. If you’re still in love with Shawn…”
“Then what mom? Please tell me what difference that is going to make to the mess our lives have become? All it’s going to do is complicate an already complicated situation. Mimi loves Shawn and Shawn loves Mimi and no matter how hard I try, that’s not going to change.”
“Yet Mimi walked out, she left him. If they were so in love, why did she do that?”
“It’s this whole thing with Claire and Mimi knowing she was Shawn’s daughter. I don’t think he can quite get over the fact that she knew and didn’t tell him. I think he feels like he can’t trust her anymore or something.”
“So there’s no trust in their relationship. You know what that is like and you also know that a relationship can’t survive without trust. So why don’t you just tell Shawn how you feel and see where that leads you?”
“That’s the thing mom, I already did. So many times and every time he simply went back to Mimi. I love Shawn and he loves his wife and she thinks he loves me; she even gave us her blessing. And even though there’s this rift between them I know its not going to last forever because he’s going to get over the fact that she lied to him. He’s going to forgive her the same way everyone else has and they’re going to get back together and when that happens, I’ll be left out in the cold because neither of them would want me around. Not knowing what they do, not knowing how I feel.”
“Why do you think he’s going to forgive her?”
“Because I have, I was bitter and resentful about what she’d done but I forgave her because I understood why she did it and because I know that she’s really sorry for having done it.
“If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”
“I used to believe that. Everyone kept telling me that Shawn and I were meant to be and I believed that that was reason enough for us to be together, that that would keep us together.”
“But?”
“But Victoria said I was wrong, that ‘meant to be’ doesn’t mean anything but a fantasy of what people want. If people were ‘meant to be’ it would be that much easier because there’d be no work involved in maintaining a relationship so when things fall apart they can say, ‘well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be’ and it would be no one’s fault.”
“What else did Victoria say?” Marlena asked intrigued.
“She said that love was hard work, that it was wanting the best for the person you were with without compromising yourself. That it was less about not hurting each other and more about healing the hurt you’ve caused, that no matter how long you’ve known someone or how much you love them, you’re always going to hurt them because you’re not the same person. And that was what love was all about, understanding that in a relationship there are two different, whole persons coming together to make their lives better, happier. When you think about it like that, there’s no place for ‘meant to be’ and ‘we belong together’. So I’m not going to pursue Shawn, I’m not going to try and get back together with him, I’m not going to run after him the way I’ve been doing since he and Mimi got together. I’m going to sit back and wait for him to come to me, I’m going to try and be the friend he needs right now and hope that one day he’ll knock on my door and want to be with me. I think I’ll focus on making myself happy and teaching my daughter to do the same, the way you’ve taught me.”
Marlena hugged her daughter, “Oh Belle.” she said, tears springing to her eyes.
“What was that for?” Belle asked once they’d pulled apart.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this day, the day you finally become the woman I tried to raise. Victoria is a very smart girl; you should listen to her more often. How is she by the way, do you two stay in touch?”
Belle shook her head, “I’m not her favourite person in the world. I said something really horrible to her, something I’ve regretted since it came out of my mouth and I wouldn’t be surprised if she never wants to speak to me again. If you want to know what’s going on with her, you should ask Mimi or Hope, they keep in touch.”
“Okay, we’re all clean and ready for the party.” Mimi announced from the top of the stairs, Claire by her side looking as though she hadn’t been covered in flour fifteen minutes ago. She took Mimi’s hand and the two started walking downstairs together.
“Claire, you look gorgeous.” Belle said as she scooped her daughter into her arms once she’d reached the last step, “How did you get her clean so quickly?” she asked Mimi.
Mimi shrugged, “It doesn’t matter. I’m just going to check on Zach.”
She turned and hurried up the stairs, Belle hugged Claire to her, “Mmm…you smell just like you Aunt Mimi.” she said, digging her nose into Claire’s clean hair.
“Can anyone get in on the action, or do you have to be a mom?” a voice asked form the front door.
Claire looked up, “Daddy!” she screamed excitedly.
Belle turned around and paled, “Philip, what are you doing here?”
“I can’t say if I’ll be here forever but I’m planning on staying for some time.” he answered. They were sitting at Java Café; it had been a week since his impromptu arrival at the Black penthouse for Claire’s party. Claire had been excited; she’d been just about the only one who had been.
“And the last seven months?” she enquired.
“I was thinking and processing. I had to figure out what I wanted and I needed to do that away from all the chaos. I’m sure you can understand that.”
Mimi nodded, “Boy do I ever and sometimes I wish I could just up and leave but there’s the small matter of my son Philip. Of trying to do what is best for him and just leaving him isn’t the best thing for him.”
“Things happened Mimi, things between Belle and I. I never wanted to leave Claire but I couldn’t take her with me. That would’ve been grossly unfair to everyone involved and like I said I needed time alone.”
Mimi stirred her coffee for a while, focusing her attention on the tiny whirlpool formed in the Styrofoam cup. Then she looked up at him, “So you leave your daughter for seven months and come back as though nothing has changed? Don’t get me wrong, I for one am glad you’re back but Philip seven months?”
“I couldn’t miss her birthday, no matter what I’m still her dad. She proved that at the party.”
“Do you really think that was fair, to either Belle or Shawn? To show up unannounced and …He loves that little girl so much and they’ve been building this terrific relationship and what happens now that you’re back?”
“We’ll sort something out; he can continue cultivating a relationship with Claire, she is after all his biological daughter but I’m not going to be kept from her Mimi. I have as much right to time with her as Shawn does.”
“I know Philip but…”
“And why are you here pleading his case in the first place? I thought you moved out; I thought the two of you were over.”
“We are but that doesn’t mean…”
“Why? From what I’ve heard, you were the one who walked out. If anything, I never took you for a quitter Mimi.”
“It’s just stupid to continue running when you weren’t even in the race.”
“That sounds like something Belle would tell you. You didn’t give up on your marriage over something Belle said did you?”
“No. Actually it was more something Belle did, something Belle and Shawn did together.”
“Ah, so you found out about that.”
“You knew? You knew what they did and you never told me?”
“I knew, it was why I left. I never told you because Shawn didn’t want you to find out. He didn’t want you hurt.” “No seriously, he was all about protecting you and I understood why. If you’d walked in on the conversation I did…”
“Don’t defend him Phillip. He’s responsible for his own actions.”
“I know, it’s just you have to understand...”
“No I don’t Phillip, I don’t have to understand anything. Not after the hell I’ve been through over Claire.”
“Maybe that should make you more understanding. Seeing as how you’ve been where he is.”
“It’s not the same Philip.”
And that ended the conversation. They sat in silence each nursing their coffee and left with their own thoughts. Before they left, Mimi grabbed Philip’s arm, “Don’t tell him I know Philip. Please, I don’t want him to know.”
Philip stared at her shocked, “You mean to say he doesn’t know?” but the expression on her face had him nodding his head, “I won’t say anything.” He reassured her.
“Oh Claire, look at all the presents, aren’t they great? And they’re all for you.” Mimi held Claire as she marvelled over the mountain of gifts that were lying on the floor. “But unfortunately, we’re going to have to wait till the party to open them, bummer.” The little girl’s face actually fell in disappointment and Mimi couldn’t help but feel sorry for her, “I know sweetie. How about we go and see what’s going on in the kitchen and let the servants do the setting up in here?”
Claire nodded and hooked her arm around Mimi’s neck affectionately and together they ventured towards the kitchen and all the culinary delights that were being prepared there.
“I think we should separate those two before Mimi’s influence can sink in.” John commented as soon as they had left the living room.
“And what influence would that be dad?” Belle asked as she started picking up the presents Mimi and Claire had spread over the floor.
“The notion that we’re servants who are going to clean up after her whenever she messes and that she can mess whenever she feels like it, to name but a few of the things your friend has taught my grandbaby.”
“The two of them adore each other,” Belle pointed out, “they’d never allow a separation of any kind.” She smiled as she heard the giggles coming from the kitchen, she was glad Mimi hadn’t let her problems with Shawn and herself to affect her relationship with Claire. Claire positively adored her ‘aunt’ meems and as far as Belle could tell the feeling was mutual. “And neither would I.”
“Have you spoken to her yet, about what’s going on between her and Shawn?” Marlena asked as she came down the stairs, she’d just gone up to put Zach down.
Belle turned to her mother, “I didn’t want to intrude, if she wants to talk to me, she will. Though I doubt that’s going to happen when she practically told me to get back together with Shawn.”
“And are you going to?” Marlena queried. But before Belle could answer, there were shrieks coming from the kitchen and a moment later, Mimi and Claire came out, covered head to toe in flour, laughing.
“We can assure you,” Mimi commented, “that all the food is up to par.” She glanced down at Claire and the two of them started the giggling again.
“Oh Claire what have you gotten into? You were supposed to be clean for the party.” Belle murmured as she went to her daughter.
John, who was grinning quite broadly himself, commented to no one in particular, “I said this would happen.”
“What on earth happened in that kitchen and look at what a mess you are.” Belle tried wiping the flour off her daughter’s face but only managed to get it on the carpet instead.
Claire shrugged, “Just flour.” she stated matter-of-factly.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get her all cleaned up and looking right as rain for the party. Come on Claire.” Mimi said as Claire followed her upstairs.
“I’ll go and check if the kitchen is still in one piece.” John said and left Belle and Marlena alone together in the living room.
“Do you think she’ll be presentable in an hour?” Belle asked her mother, glancing at her watch.
“I think you should let Mimi see to Claire so that we can finish our conversation.” Marlena told her.
“I’ll just go and see…”
Marlena stopped her and patted the space next to her on the sofa, inviting her daughter to sit down. “Belle, you can’t run away from this you know. If you’re still in love with Shawn…”
“Then what mom? Please tell me what difference that is going to make to the mess our lives have become? All it’s going to do is complicate an already complicated situation. Mimi loves Shawn and Shawn loves Mimi and no matter how hard I try, that’s not going to change.”
“Yet Mimi walked out, she left him. If they were so in love, why did she do that?”
“It’s this whole thing with Claire and Mimi knowing she was Shawn’s daughter. I don’t think he can quite get over the fact that she knew and didn’t tell him. I think he feels like he can’t trust her anymore or something.”
“So there’s no trust in their relationship. You know what that is like and you also know that a relationship can’t survive without trust. So why don’t you just tell Shawn how you feel and see where that leads you?”
“That’s the thing mom, I already did. So many times and every time he simply went back to Mimi. I love Shawn and he loves his wife and she thinks he loves me; she even gave us her blessing. And even though there’s this rift between them I know its not going to last forever because he’s going to get over the fact that she lied to him. He’s going to forgive her the same way everyone else has and they’re going to get back together and when that happens, I’ll be left out in the cold because neither of them would want me around. Not knowing what they do, not knowing how I feel.”
“Why do you think he’s going to forgive her?”
“Because I have, I was bitter and resentful about what she’d done but I forgave her because I understood why she did it and because I know that she’s really sorry for having done it.
“If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”
“I used to believe that. Everyone kept telling me that Shawn and I were meant to be and I believed that that was reason enough for us to be together, that that would keep us together.”
“But?”
“But Victoria said I was wrong, that ‘meant to be’ doesn’t mean anything but a fantasy of what people want. If people were ‘meant to be’ it would be that much easier because there’d be no work involved in maintaining a relationship so when things fall apart they can say, ‘well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be’ and it would be no one’s fault.”
“What else did Victoria say?” Marlena asked intrigued.
“She said that love was hard work, that it was wanting the best for the person you were with without compromising yourself. That it was less about not hurting each other and more about healing the hurt you’ve caused, that no matter how long you’ve known someone or how much you love them, you’re always going to hurt them because you’re not the same person. And that was what love was all about, understanding that in a relationship there are two different, whole persons coming together to make their lives better, happier. When you think about it like that, there’s no place for ‘meant to be’ and ‘we belong together’. So I’m not going to pursue Shawn, I’m not going to try and get back together with him, I’m not going to run after him the way I’ve been doing since he and Mimi got together. I’m going to sit back and wait for him to come to me, I’m going to try and be the friend he needs right now and hope that one day he’ll knock on my door and want to be with me. I think I’ll focus on making myself happy and teaching my daughter to do the same, the way you’ve taught me.”
Marlena hugged her daughter, “Oh Belle.” she said, tears springing to her eyes.
“What was that for?” Belle asked once they’d pulled apart.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this day, the day you finally become the woman I tried to raise. Victoria is a very smart girl; you should listen to her more often. How is she by the way, do you two stay in touch?”
Belle shook her head, “I’m not her favourite person in the world. I said something really horrible to her, something I’ve regretted since it came out of my mouth and I wouldn’t be surprised if she never wants to speak to me again. If you want to know what’s going on with her, you should ask Mimi or Hope, they keep in touch.”
“Okay, we’re all clean and ready for the party.” Mimi announced from the top of the stairs, Claire by her side looking as though she hadn’t been covered in flour fifteen minutes ago. She took Mimi’s hand and the two started walking downstairs together.
“Claire, you look gorgeous.” Belle said as she scooped her daughter into her arms once she’d reached the last step, “How did you get her clean so quickly?” she asked Mimi.
Mimi shrugged, “It doesn’t matter. I’m just going to check on Zach.”
She turned and hurried up the stairs, Belle hugged Claire to her, “Mmm…you smell just like you Aunt Mimi.” she said, digging her nose into Claire’s clean hair.
“Can anyone get in on the action, or do you have to be a mom?” a voice asked form the front door.
Claire looked up, “Daddy!” she screamed excitedly.
Belle turned around and paled, “Philip, what are you doing here?”
*****
“So, are you back in town for good or just passing through?” Mimi asked Philip as she placed a cup of coffee in front of him.“I can’t say if I’ll be here forever but I’m planning on staying for some time.” he answered. They were sitting at Java Café; it had been a week since his impromptu arrival at the Black penthouse for Claire’s party. Claire had been excited; she’d been just about the only one who had been.
“And the last seven months?” she enquired.
“I was thinking and processing. I had to figure out what I wanted and I needed to do that away from all the chaos. I’m sure you can understand that.”
Mimi nodded, “Boy do I ever and sometimes I wish I could just up and leave but there’s the small matter of my son Philip. Of trying to do what is best for him and just leaving him isn’t the best thing for him.”
“Things happened Mimi, things between Belle and I. I never wanted to leave Claire but I couldn’t take her with me. That would’ve been grossly unfair to everyone involved and like I said I needed time alone.”
Mimi stirred her coffee for a while, focusing her attention on the tiny whirlpool formed in the Styrofoam cup. Then she looked up at him, “So you leave your daughter for seven months and come back as though nothing has changed? Don’t get me wrong, I for one am glad you’re back but Philip seven months?”
“I couldn’t miss her birthday, no matter what I’m still her dad. She proved that at the party.”
“Do you really think that was fair, to either Belle or Shawn? To show up unannounced and …He loves that little girl so much and they’ve been building this terrific relationship and what happens now that you’re back?”
“We’ll sort something out; he can continue cultivating a relationship with Claire, she is after all his biological daughter but I’m not going to be kept from her Mimi. I have as much right to time with her as Shawn does.”
“I know Philip but…”
“And why are you here pleading his case in the first place? I thought you moved out; I thought the two of you were over.”
“We are but that doesn’t mean…”
“Why? From what I’ve heard, you were the one who walked out. If anything, I never took you for a quitter Mimi.”
“It’s just stupid to continue running when you weren’t even in the race.”
“That sounds like something Belle would tell you. You didn’t give up on your marriage over something Belle said did you?”
“No. Actually it was more something Belle did, something Belle and Shawn did together.”
“Ah, so you found out about that.”
“You knew? You knew what they did and you never told me?”
“I knew, it was why I left. I never told you because Shawn didn’t want you to find out. He didn’t want you hurt.” “No seriously, he was all about protecting you and I understood why. If you’d walked in on the conversation I did…”
“Don’t defend him Phillip. He’s responsible for his own actions.”
“I know, it’s just you have to understand...”
“No I don’t Phillip, I don’t have to understand anything. Not after the hell I’ve been through over Claire.”
“Maybe that should make you more understanding. Seeing as how you’ve been where he is.”
“It’s not the same Philip.”
And that ended the conversation. They sat in silence each nursing their coffee and left with their own thoughts. Before they left, Mimi grabbed Philip’s arm, “Don’t tell him I know Philip. Please, I don’t want him to know.”
Philip stared at her shocked, “You mean to say he doesn’t know?” but the expression on her face had him nodding his head, “I won’t say anything.” He reassured her.
