Post by rsafan on Dec 4, 2006 5:38:06 GMT -5
A week later, Bo found Hope sitting at the kitchen table in deep thought. He knew what was on her mind, walking over to the fridge to get a slice of the cheesecake he knew was still in there, he asked “Have you spoken to Victoria yet?”
“I think maybe I should give her some space. I’ve been trying to ingratiate myself into her life with no regard for what she may be feeling.”
“You wanted to be part of her life Hope, that’s natural.”
“Maybe, but she’s made it clear from the beginning that she didn’t want me too involved in her life. I chose to ignore that, I made myself believe that I knew what was best for her.”
“You wanted to be her mother.”
“She has a mother, a mother she loves and I tried to replace her. I didn’t mean to but that’s what I did. It’s easier for you and Shawn. She doesn’t have a brother so Shawn could just slide into her life; no problem. You made her comfortable; you gave her love with no conditions.”
“You did the same thing.”
“That’s not how she sees it and I should have realised that. It’s different for a mother; all I could think about was making her accept me and in so doing I only managed to push her further away. I thought about what I wanted, she’s my daughter and I wanted to be her mother. But I didn’t raise her, when she thinks of her mother she doesn’t think about me she thinks about the woman who raised her, the woman who gave her unconditional love for as long as she can remember. The woman who had no qualms about allowing her daughter the opportunity to get to know us, because it was what was best for Victoria; I haven’t been able to be that unselfish. She was right at Christmas when she said some of us chose to believe she didn’t have a family, I didn’t want to believe that there was another woman out there who knew my daughter better than I did, who had been there for all her firsts and for all her hurts. I never wanted to know about her other life, her life before us, everyone else knows something about her life in England, they made a concerted effort to get to know where she came from, and I didn’t. I had no right to try and take that away from her, I had no right to try and take her past away from her.”
Bo drew Hope to him and held her tightly, “It’s never too late to try. Talk to her.”
Hope shook her head, “No, I’m afraid that it may very well be too late Bo. I have this feeling that something’s about to happen and it’s not going to be good, for anybody.”
“Is it any wonder? The last time we were alone together, you were a bit too friendly for my liking.”
“We still have to talk about it.”
“It happened; it’s over; nothing to talk about. I only came to drop Claire off.” he turned to the door.
“And you’re not leaving till we’ve discussed this.” she said blocking his exit, “What are we going to do about it?”
“Nothing, because it meant nothing. I don’t want Mimi finding out; we have enough problems, she does not need to deal with this too.”
“We kissed Shawn, it wasn’t just once and it wasn’t a friendly peck on the cheek. It was a proper kiss and you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen.”
“Watch me.”
“When was the last time you and Mimi were together?” She asked as she placed Claire in her crib.
“I really don’t think…”
“She’s my best friend Shawn; she tells me these things. You can’t be with her because you feel guilty, every time you come close you think of me don’t you? Admit it Shawn, come on it’s only the two of us here.”
“What’s between Mimi and I is none of your business.”
“It is when she’s hurting. It is when I know that it has absolutely nothing to do with you being Claire’s father and everything to do with that night. You’re using Mimi’s guilt to hide your own and that’s not right Shawn.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about the fact that you still have feelings for me, that you still love me the way I love you. If that weren’t the case, if that night really meant nothing then you’d be able to tell Mimi the truth.”
“No Belle, you’re wrong. That night was a mistake, and I didn’t tell Philip or Mimi because I don’t want to hurt them anymore, we’ve all been through hell lately and I’m not going to be the cause of more angst between the four of us. Especially over something that means nothing, a mistake. I love my wife, Belle, I don’t want to hurt her; in fact I’d do anything to protect her; so get it in your head that you and I are over.”
“You know that’s not true, you still love me. I know you do.”
“No, I care about you Belle; I care about you because we grew up together, because you’re Claire’s mother but that’s as far as it goes. Mimi is my wife, Mimi is the one I married and Mimi is the one I’m committed to spending the rest of my life with. Because of Claire, I’ll always be in your life, but as her father Bell, nothing more and don’t even think about ‘accidentally’ spilling the beans about that night, I don’t want either Philip or Mimi to ever know.”
“Well it’s too late for that.” Philip called from the door; he didn’t look to be in too happy a mood and who could blame him.
Belle’s mind raced, exactly how much had he heard? “Philip! How long…”
“Long enough. Long enough to hear you begging Shawn to leave his wife for you and long enough to realise that you and I are well and truly over.” He stated calmly.
“Philip wait…” Shawn wanted to explain but Philip cut him off, he knew exactly what Shawn’s main concern was.
“No need to worry about me telling Mimi, I won’t. Not because I don’t think she deserves to know, she does and it should come from you Shawn, but more because I know you regret it. That you think it was a mistake and finding out would only hurt her and one thing she doesn’t need right now is more hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” Belle interrupted them, “why are you both defending her? She lied to us for months, she kept a huge secret that affected all our lives and your first concerns are whether or not she’d get hurt?”
“You seem to be forgetting that Mimi told us the truth, she could have kept quiet forever, she needn’t have told us but she did…”
“Because she was forced to!” Belle all but shouted at them, she really couldn’t handle the way they were always defending her, as though Mimi hadn’t ruined all their lives by keeping her secret.
“No,” Philip argued, “because she wanted to. She wanted to tell the truth, she was only afraid of what the outcome would be.”
“And in the end she comes out the brave heroine despite the fact that she lied.”
“Would you listen to yourself,” Shawn looked at her as though she were a stranger, “minutes ago you were talking about how you’re Mimi’s best friend and now this?”
“Well I’m sorry but lately I haven’t felt too friendly towards her, it started around the time I found out my daughter had another father. Best friends don’t keep secrets like that from each other and I’m tired of pretending that I forgive her. She turned my world upside down and she gets a pat on the back from everyone for ‘doing the right thing’. She lied for months, she kept you” she pointed to Shawn, “from your daughter and she kept you” she pointed to Philip, “with Claire believing you were her dad and the two of you are just willing to forget all that?”
“She also kept you from Shawn,” Philip pointed out, “that’s why you’re so angry right, because she kept you and Shawn from being together.”
Knowing full well what was about to transpire between Philip and Belle, Shawn felt he should leave, he really didn’t want to get caught in the middle even though he was the cause of their dispute. “I think I’d better go.” He said as he left, though neither other occupant was paying him much attention.
Chelsea let her in, “I was going to pay you a visit today anyway.”
Victoria put up her hands as though warding off an imminent attack, “Max and I are still together, he’s the only guy I’ve kissed for the past six months so if there’s some new guy you’re seeing, I haven’t been near him. I promise.”
Chelsea laughed, “I’m not seeing anyone and I was going to apologise.”
“Apologise?”
“Yeah, for my behaviour. You were right when you said we were in similar situations, I just refused to see that.”
Victoria shook her head, “Our situations aren’t as similar as I wanted to believe, I only ever wanted to be your friend.”
“I know and if I hadn’t been so jealous of you, I’d have wanted that too.”
Victoria looked at her shocked, “Jealous of me, what ever for?”
“It’s silly really, but then jealousy always is. I envied the easy relationship you had with Shawn, I know he has reason to dislike me now, but we were never that close. It seemed as though the two of you just slid into this relationship, like you’d grown up together and you’d simply been living somewhere else for a while. Then there’s our father, you haven’t disappointed him yet, you’ve never seen that look in his eyes that makes you feel so ashamed because you know you’ve let him down in the worst possible way and nothing you do will ever erase that. Grandma Caroline thinks the sun rises and sets on you.”
“Caroline thinks that about everyone, it’s just the way she is.”
“There’s that too, they’re so willing to accept you and you still keep them at a distance and they simply try harder. I keep them at a distance and they leave me alone. You even have my best friend halfway in love with you, everything is always ‘Victoria this’ and ‘Victoria that’.”
“Abby’s a great kid, I think it has a lot to do with her parents, they raised an amazing daughter.”
“And Max, Max is totally devoted to you. He had no qualms about dropping me for you,” when Victoria made to interrupt, Chelsea held up her hand to stop her, “I know you weren’t responsible for his actions, I can accept that you make him happy, I’m glad you make him happy. And try as I might; even I couldn’t keep hating you; you’re just too nice and genuine. When you stood up for me…I’ve never had anyone do that for me, I really appreciate it. I guess I’m trying to say that if it’s not too late, maybe we can start over become sisters.”
“You do realise that sisters fight an awful lot, about boys and clothes and other silly things. At least that’s what it seems like in the movies.”
“But they’re also really great friends so all the fighting doesn’t really matter.”
“I guess you’re right, I’ve never had a sister. It might be totally amazing to have a little sister. Maybe we should start over.”
Chelsea nodded, they were both so close to tears; “I’d really like that.”
“I think maybe I should give her some space. I’ve been trying to ingratiate myself into her life with no regard for what she may be feeling.”
“You wanted to be part of her life Hope, that’s natural.”
“Maybe, but she’s made it clear from the beginning that she didn’t want me too involved in her life. I chose to ignore that, I made myself believe that I knew what was best for her.”
“You wanted to be her mother.”
“She has a mother, a mother she loves and I tried to replace her. I didn’t mean to but that’s what I did. It’s easier for you and Shawn. She doesn’t have a brother so Shawn could just slide into her life; no problem. You made her comfortable; you gave her love with no conditions.”
“You did the same thing.”
“That’s not how she sees it and I should have realised that. It’s different for a mother; all I could think about was making her accept me and in so doing I only managed to push her further away. I thought about what I wanted, she’s my daughter and I wanted to be her mother. But I didn’t raise her, when she thinks of her mother she doesn’t think about me she thinks about the woman who raised her, the woman who gave her unconditional love for as long as she can remember. The woman who had no qualms about allowing her daughter the opportunity to get to know us, because it was what was best for Victoria; I haven’t been able to be that unselfish. She was right at Christmas when she said some of us chose to believe she didn’t have a family, I didn’t want to believe that there was another woman out there who knew my daughter better than I did, who had been there for all her firsts and for all her hurts. I never wanted to know about her other life, her life before us, everyone else knows something about her life in England, they made a concerted effort to get to know where she came from, and I didn’t. I had no right to try and take that away from her, I had no right to try and take her past away from her.”
Bo drew Hope to him and held her tightly, “It’s never too late to try. Talk to her.”
Hope shook her head, “No, I’m afraid that it may very well be too late Bo. I have this feeling that something’s about to happen and it’s not going to be good, for anybody.”
*****
“Look Shawn, we have to talk.” Belle said as she took Claire form him, “You’ve been avoiding me for months.”“Is it any wonder? The last time we were alone together, you were a bit too friendly for my liking.”
“We still have to talk about it.”
“It happened; it’s over; nothing to talk about. I only came to drop Claire off.” he turned to the door.
“And you’re not leaving till we’ve discussed this.” she said blocking his exit, “What are we going to do about it?”
“Nothing, because it meant nothing. I don’t want Mimi finding out; we have enough problems, she does not need to deal with this too.”
“We kissed Shawn, it wasn’t just once and it wasn’t a friendly peck on the cheek. It was a proper kiss and you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen.”
“Watch me.”
“When was the last time you and Mimi were together?” She asked as she placed Claire in her crib.
“I really don’t think…”
“She’s my best friend Shawn; she tells me these things. You can’t be with her because you feel guilty, every time you come close you think of me don’t you? Admit it Shawn, come on it’s only the two of us here.”
“What’s between Mimi and I is none of your business.”
“It is when she’s hurting. It is when I know that it has absolutely nothing to do with you being Claire’s father and everything to do with that night. You’re using Mimi’s guilt to hide your own and that’s not right Shawn.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about the fact that you still have feelings for me, that you still love me the way I love you. If that weren’t the case, if that night really meant nothing then you’d be able to tell Mimi the truth.”
“No Belle, you’re wrong. That night was a mistake, and I didn’t tell Philip or Mimi because I don’t want to hurt them anymore, we’ve all been through hell lately and I’m not going to be the cause of more angst between the four of us. Especially over something that means nothing, a mistake. I love my wife, Belle, I don’t want to hurt her; in fact I’d do anything to protect her; so get it in your head that you and I are over.”
“You know that’s not true, you still love me. I know you do.”
“No, I care about you Belle; I care about you because we grew up together, because you’re Claire’s mother but that’s as far as it goes. Mimi is my wife, Mimi is the one I married and Mimi is the one I’m committed to spending the rest of my life with. Because of Claire, I’ll always be in your life, but as her father Bell, nothing more and don’t even think about ‘accidentally’ spilling the beans about that night, I don’t want either Philip or Mimi to ever know.”
“Well it’s too late for that.” Philip called from the door; he didn’t look to be in too happy a mood and who could blame him.
Belle’s mind raced, exactly how much had he heard? “Philip! How long…”
“Long enough. Long enough to hear you begging Shawn to leave his wife for you and long enough to realise that you and I are well and truly over.” He stated calmly.
“Philip wait…” Shawn wanted to explain but Philip cut him off, he knew exactly what Shawn’s main concern was.
“No need to worry about me telling Mimi, I won’t. Not because I don’t think she deserves to know, she does and it should come from you Shawn, but more because I know you regret it. That you think it was a mistake and finding out would only hurt her and one thing she doesn’t need right now is more hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” Belle interrupted them, “why are you both defending her? She lied to us for months, she kept a huge secret that affected all our lives and your first concerns are whether or not she’d get hurt?”
“You seem to be forgetting that Mimi told us the truth, she could have kept quiet forever, she needn’t have told us but she did…”
“Because she was forced to!” Belle all but shouted at them, she really couldn’t handle the way they were always defending her, as though Mimi hadn’t ruined all their lives by keeping her secret.
“No,” Philip argued, “because she wanted to. She wanted to tell the truth, she was only afraid of what the outcome would be.”
“And in the end she comes out the brave heroine despite the fact that she lied.”
“Would you listen to yourself,” Shawn looked at her as though she were a stranger, “minutes ago you were talking about how you’re Mimi’s best friend and now this?”
“Well I’m sorry but lately I haven’t felt too friendly towards her, it started around the time I found out my daughter had another father. Best friends don’t keep secrets like that from each other and I’m tired of pretending that I forgive her. She turned my world upside down and she gets a pat on the back from everyone for ‘doing the right thing’. She lied for months, she kept you” she pointed to Shawn, “from your daughter and she kept you” she pointed to Philip, “with Claire believing you were her dad and the two of you are just willing to forget all that?”
“She also kept you from Shawn,” Philip pointed out, “that’s why you’re so angry right, because she kept you and Shawn from being together.”
Knowing full well what was about to transpire between Philip and Belle, Shawn felt he should leave, he really didn’t want to get caught in the middle even though he was the cause of their dispute. “I think I’d better go.” He said as he left, though neither other occupant was paying him much attention.
*****
Chelsea opened the door to Victoria. Before she could say anything Victoria said, “Your mom told me where you were.”Chelsea let her in, “I was going to pay you a visit today anyway.”
Victoria put up her hands as though warding off an imminent attack, “Max and I are still together, he’s the only guy I’ve kissed for the past six months so if there’s some new guy you’re seeing, I haven’t been near him. I promise.”
Chelsea laughed, “I’m not seeing anyone and I was going to apologise.”
“Apologise?”
“Yeah, for my behaviour. You were right when you said we were in similar situations, I just refused to see that.”
Victoria shook her head, “Our situations aren’t as similar as I wanted to believe, I only ever wanted to be your friend.”
“I know and if I hadn’t been so jealous of you, I’d have wanted that too.”
Victoria looked at her shocked, “Jealous of me, what ever for?”
“It’s silly really, but then jealousy always is. I envied the easy relationship you had with Shawn, I know he has reason to dislike me now, but we were never that close. It seemed as though the two of you just slid into this relationship, like you’d grown up together and you’d simply been living somewhere else for a while. Then there’s our father, you haven’t disappointed him yet, you’ve never seen that look in his eyes that makes you feel so ashamed because you know you’ve let him down in the worst possible way and nothing you do will ever erase that. Grandma Caroline thinks the sun rises and sets on you.”
“Caroline thinks that about everyone, it’s just the way she is.”
“There’s that too, they’re so willing to accept you and you still keep them at a distance and they simply try harder. I keep them at a distance and they leave me alone. You even have my best friend halfway in love with you, everything is always ‘Victoria this’ and ‘Victoria that’.”
“Abby’s a great kid, I think it has a lot to do with her parents, they raised an amazing daughter.”
“And Max, Max is totally devoted to you. He had no qualms about dropping me for you,” when Victoria made to interrupt, Chelsea held up her hand to stop her, “I know you weren’t responsible for his actions, I can accept that you make him happy, I’m glad you make him happy. And try as I might; even I couldn’t keep hating you; you’re just too nice and genuine. When you stood up for me…I’ve never had anyone do that for me, I really appreciate it. I guess I’m trying to say that if it’s not too late, maybe we can start over become sisters.”
“You do realise that sisters fight an awful lot, about boys and clothes and other silly things. At least that’s what it seems like in the movies.”
“But they’re also really great friends so all the fighting doesn’t really matter.”
“I guess you’re right, I’ve never had a sister. It might be totally amazing to have a little sister. Maybe we should start over.”
Chelsea nodded, they were both so close to tears; “I’d really like that.”
